EPISODE III: Revenge of the T-Cells

Though I would probably be on the Dark Side ;)

War! The Unicorn Universe is crumbling under attacks by the ruthless Cancer Lord, Count Non-Hodgkin. There are heroes on both sides. Evil is everywhere.
In a stunning move, the fiendish bacteria leader, General Infectous, has swept into the Unicorn capital and kidnapped Chancellor Healthyhorn, leader of the Glitter Senate.
As the Separatist Infection Army flees off the besieged capital with their valuable hostage, the mighty Lymphoma Board creates a courageous plan to save the Galaxy and Chancellor Healthyhorn.
One brave Unicorn named Glitterella leads the desperate mission to rescue the captive Chancellor....

What´s more fun than having cancer? Riiight, having cancer and being harassed by a bunch of Nazi nurses! I arrived on Nazi station (I think it´s really called "Station for stem cell transplantation and leukemia therapy" but I think Nazi station is way more catchy. I left them a proposal letter in the mailbox, let´s see what happens! :)) two days after my inital diagnosis. So far I was told I had a Hodgkin Lymphoma. Here´s a tip for you- block Wikipedia and Google on every available device from your family! This isn´t helping! They get scared and start annoy you and the docs. Well at least if they are a like my family. ;) My demon was still rampaging through my body giving me horrible night sweat and fever and pain. I still couldn´t eat and my spleen was big like a football.

It´s nothing, really, just a cough!

While I was waiting for the results of the bone marrow samples I wasn´t idle. I dragged myself to a CT, twice to the MRI (body and head separately), ultrasound and lung-function test. Okey, I got dragged. In a wheelchair. And to be honest... that was awesome. Especially since I got wrapped in complete body protection gear with surgical mask. Nothing lightens up the mood in the waiting room full of patients if you sit in your wheelchair, looking like Deathh himself and cough like a person with ebola! Gnahaha. ;)

And then on a bright sunny day, it was a good day cause none of the Nazi nurses had made you cry (in my case usually out of anger ;)) and you and your cell mate were laughing and making jokes about wigs ("Why are you laughing? What´s so funny? You´re making too much noise!"), Dr Asian Dude came in with a grim face. The results were back. It wasn´t a Hodgkin Lymphoma. It was a rare form of Non-Hodgkin Lymphoma. We had a therapy plan. And so much more to do.

I often felt like in an episode of House, M.D.!

So I started talking with many many docs. Anesthetists, surgeons, gynecologists, oncologists, hematologists, whatevergists, elucidating the procedures to be done, the risks, the benefits, the side effects, "infection, sepsis, death, ach you know the deal! Please sign here that you understood it all.". Uhuhuh. Sure. *scribble* Wait, did you say death?! Every day a swarm of docs passed through our cell, smiling and making optimistic comments at the side of the bed of my cell mate (she really did have a Hodgkin Lymphoma) and then turning around to my bed...falling silent. Staring at their feet. Shuffling. Say something. Anything. Please! But apparently they were fresh out of optimism and great statistics. And since I´m such an interesting specimen they also herded as much students to my bed as they could find. "Let´s have a look at that patient with this strange, rare disease!" I was a fucking freakshow. (They are lucky I didn´t start to bite them.)

I soon had my port implanted and my ovary cells extracted. I received a pre-chemo therapy, which was one administration Vincristin and 5 days Cortisone. On 16th March I finally received my first real chemo. I will always remember that the day started reeeeal good- chocolate pudding for breakfast! Aaaaaaawesoooooome!!! I was so happy on that day, I danced around my cell (receiving again stupid comments from the Nazi nurses). Finally I was taking up the fight against my demon! He had the power over me for too long now, it was time I punched him the face! Again and again and again.

Two days later I was done with the infusions and sent home. I couldn´t believe it. After almost four weeks of hospital, of uncertainty, sleeplessness, of being tested and probed like a lab monkey and of feeling weak and sick, I was allowed to go home. To my own bed! Delicious food (first stop- favorite Greek restaurant! ;))! My bathtub! No more Nazi nurses and docs!

I finally knew what I was up against. And I was ready to fight dirty.