The Menopause Blues

Yeah, fuck that shit.

It´s not the same as losing your hair. Your hair will grow back. It will take time but sure, it will grow back. And you really don´t need it anyway. But what about your reproductive organs? Well, not that they fell off *ewww*! But two days ago I started to get the first menopausal symptoms. For all of you under 50 (and female obviously ;)) who had the same thoughts about menopause as I had until now- "I have at leeeeeast 20 more years to go!"- here´s what is expecting you 20 long years from now (well the ones I´ve been experiencing, in total there are 34 common symptoms of menopause and you can pick as much as you like, yay!):

You just keep telling that to yourself gurl!

• Hot flashes- like one moment you seem to burn up and your face turns red and the next it´s gone and you´re freezing. And that only lasts a few minutes. But don´t worry, these minutes return several times a day.
• Sleep disorders- ha, wouldn´t notice that anyway! ;)
• Mood swings- oh well that could also just be my usual charming self...
• Irregular periods- as in my case none at all for months. But I guess this goes on the "yay" side. ;)
• Night sweats- been there, done that as B-symptom of my cancer. Thank goodness now it´s not that bad. Always look on the bright side, right? :)
• Hair loss- bwahaha, that´s right up there with "sleep disorders"!
• Difficulty concentrating, Memory lapses- Broccoli brain says "hi!"

Actually, now that I´m going through the list of symptoms I notice there are a lot I already have from cancer and chemo- also like depressive moods, urinary urgency, dizziness, headaches, digestive problems, thinning skin...

But I was told it was coming. It´s a side effect of my chemo. Infertility. Becoming infertile as a woman means going through menopause. We all know that.
I prepared as best as I could. I had the surgery. I did the cryoconservation of my ovarian cells. Leaving me with a slight chance of still being able to have children when I´m healed.
Even if that means that we someday will have to have a very awkward talk with our child how Mickey Mouse is basically its father. "You know how you always wanted to go as Mickey for Fasching? And we couldn´t stop laughing? Yeaah, you see....*giggle*"
It is possible to attach the cells to a mouse if it doesn´t work with me. Aaand then the egg will grow on the mouse and will be fertilized... and after that I stopped listening to the gynecologist cause I couldn´t get the picture out ouf my mind. And we spent the rest of the day making fun of Disneyland holidays and fun names to give to your mouse kid.
But seriously, it´s amazing how far medicine has come and I´m sure we will be a few more steps further on once I´m ready to have children. Maybe I can have a bunny kid, cause that would be so much cuter! ;)

But this is far from now and right now I have to live through menopausal symptoms together with my chemo side effects and cancer.