The barfing Dutchman

Dealing with cancer not only is getting chemo and taking thousands of pills like antibiotics, aciclovir and pH regulators to protect the healthy parts of your body from getting chemo (Fun Fact: Did you know that I could get cancer from chemo in the next 10 to 20 years? Yes, that´s actually a possible side effect of chemo. Cancer. Is it just me, or is this seriously missing the mark?). Let me tell you about the daily routines.

As scientist I know how science and especially chemistry can be wonderful and intelligent and just breathtakingly awesome. Chemo meds however... Yeah, they´re not. They´re... "Gifted" :) They are rampaging through my body killing everything on sight- the good cells, the bad and the ugly, leaving behind dead tumour cells (yay!) and a fucked up immune system (booo!!). Don´t get me wrong, I don´t want to be ungrateful but a little more sensitivity would be very much appreciated. ;)

So to avoid any additional infections I have to take care to stay away from known disease herds. Like salads. Raw fish (that´s really mean). And children. ;) And that´s exactly the things my doctor told me. Seriously. He also told me not to go to any festivals. I have no idea why he thought that would be important to tell me?! XD




However there are not only viral infections lurking around. There is also a whole spectrum of fungal infections that could befall my digestive tract. To avoid that I have to keep to a daily mouth hygiene routine four times a day including brushing teeth and using specific mouth wash (in hospital I had a different mouth wash that made my tongue go numb and swollen and I couldn´t taste anything. After complaining about that to the doctor he replied " Well this is no gourmet restaurant!" Awww, empathy your name is Dr Klein).

But all of this is nothing compared to my arch nemesis for the past two weeks:

Der pürierte Holländer!!
(you know, orange like oranje? Well in my head it totally makes sense)

This my friends is the reason for many, many, many Gollum-like debates with myself ("Noo, me needs to barf from it!""But me wants it. Me needs it! Doctors says is good for us!").
This antimycotic dispersion paint keeps me awake at night and my tongue in a constant interesting pink-orange colour scheme (my tongue usually is almost white at the moment due to my anemia). I think it´s so nice that some pharma dude really made the effort and at least gave it that nice colour, just fitting the wonderful taste. With Vodka it could become the next best trend drink.

 

The most fun thing of this hygienic routine (besides making me want to throw up four additional times a day)? Gummibears tasting salty, Ginger Ale (no Jameson though *sniff*) tasting bitter and the constant surprise of not knowing if things you loved still taste the same. Thank god I still have a healthy appetite and eat enough. ;) 

So my friends, raise your glasses four times a day for me. To health, to life and beware of the barfing Dutchman!

Prost!